Would anyone please read my short story and give me reviews?

THE RE-BLOODENING

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Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away called Middle Earth, there was a hill made out of skeletons. A family lived on top of the hill, in a house built from Oak Wood and the tanned hide of a wolf. They were called the Adams Family, and they had a daughter named Alessa Gillespie, but that was because they could, and because people back then didn't really care about last names or the risk of copyright infringement because Konami didn't exist yet and no one had ever heard of a video game or movie called Silent Hill, so any lawyers who are reading this should just die because they aren't wanted here.

Anyway, the Adams Family was awesome, and they had a Prius, powered by a combination of gasoline, electricity, and the blood of their enemies. They frequently went down to town to feed, because they were related to Dracula somehow, even though they lived in North Carolina and not Transylvania. They would bite people, and sometimes, they would also eat asparagus, which was good for their kidneys.

Anyway, one night, they bit a guy and he kind of freaked out, because he wasn't a very understand kind of person. So, he hit them with a rake. They were okay, but there was a lot of blood, because violence helps to sell stories.

Because it was vampire blood, the gore turned into monsters, which were kind of like dragons, only made out of blood, and they breathed Medieval War Axes, because that's awesome.

For twenty years, the war continued, until the world was naught but ash...

A hero had to emerge from the ashes of the fallen world, and so, from the remnants of Vault 101, closed forever, or so it seemed, a hero emerged. His name was Dr. Malpractice.

Dr. Malpractice took his gun with a chainsaw attached to it, which is a totally unique idea, and gored the gore monsters. There was so much gore it was like the world was made out of gore because of all the gore.

Then Borat appeared, and talked about Kazakhstan a little.

In the end, everyone learned an important lesson: The smallest lifeforms on Earth, the microbes which we live amongst every day, were the only things which could bring down the Martians I forgot to mention because I was too busy describing something about blood monsters which was all actually a dream Stephanie Meyer had before she wrote about crap.

Comments

4 Responses to “Would anyone please read my short story and give me reviews?”

Jyotika says:

July 23, 2009 at 2:34 am

lol, wtf? That was…interesting. Nice lol
The Duck says:

July 23, 2009 at 2:34 am

Yay?
Slightly interesting parody…
Hatshepsut says:

July 23, 2009 at 2:34 am

I’m afraid the term "short story" does not apply here. It’s more of a rant. And a damn funny one at that!
<3Emm says:

July 23, 2009 at 2:34 am

Lmao